Modern Womanhood Coach
My mission is to support you, today’s “strong, independent, hard-working” woman in achieving success ALSO in love, happiness, family, marriage and in your committed relationships. I specifically help women who feel lonely in their marriage, who are suffering from disconnect in their families, who have been or are going through divorce, who are lost in a pattern of non-committed, abusive or unhappy relationships and who are simply stuck in the abyss of victimhood (my Pupa Archetype©) or in the storm of burnout (my Caterpillar Archetype©).
I help these women use divorce, break-up, separation and their general disconnection from men, attraction and love to re-build confidence, strength and power in their personal and professional lives. These women also use this growth to manifest a committed, high-value relationship, or restore happiness, intimacy and attraction in their existing relationships.
How… would we create these beautiful things in our lives from such pain, failures and bad relationships???
First, let me get something out of the way: There are NO failures, bad relationships or failed relationships or marriages. There are only FANTASTIC growth opportunities!
It is because YOUR relationships provide you with an ultimate laboratory for healing!
It is because opening up to connect to someone in your life allows YOU to get triggered, really learn about your inner-world and transform!
It is because experiencing care, support, peaceful communication, confident vulnerability, love and intimacy with another human being gives you the most amazing channel towards your highest state of connectedness, clarity, creativity, consciousness, power and womanhood!
It is because your relationship with your MAN is YOUR ultimate mirror through which you will FULLY embody your queenly Butterfly Essence©
It is because your life’s ultimate, most natural and highest purpose is to connect, heal, love and impact other human beings along your journey!
I am Sonia Elhaj, your Certified Modern Womanhood Coach. I guide you, today’s modern woman in becoming strong, happy, peaceful and successful, ALSO, on the inside.
I support YOU – today’s “modern” woman in freeing yourself from the daily poison of your internal & external conversations that keep you from happiness in love, marriage and your personal relationships.
From Feminist to FEMININE.
The most important quality that gets me through difficult times and challenges is resilience. Please note: we will always go through challenges; this doesn’t mean that we are failing. It means that we are living.
Now, by resilience I do not mean: ‘hard-work’, ‘sacrificing my wellbeing’, ‘accepting anything’, ‘prioritizing others’…etc.
To me, the essence of resilience is the ability to see meaning in everything that happens in my life, work and business. I stress the word: EVERYTHING. Even things that look like ‘disasters’ to us. Those seemingly ‘negative’ experiences are huge opportunities for us to discover another layer of strength and confidence.
One quick tool to quickly shift your perspective and gain resilience through the ebb and flow of life is to start with this mantra: Life happens FOR me. (replace the old adage of: things happened ‘to’ me) Notice what happens when you adopt this perspective with literally every event in your life. Ask yourself: What is this incident trying to teach me? What else is opening up for me? What is available / possible for me after this?
This is so much more empowering than worrying about every single thing that happens, panicking and acting as if our life is over. It ain’t over till it’s over!
Through a hybrid model of coaching, speaking and teaching, I am building the dream of blossoming into the globally-recognized modern womanhood coach impacting millions of women especially in the Arab world and guiding them in reconnecting to and embodying their innate, natural feminine creativity and power both at home and at work. Through that process, I know that these women will be the catalysts for changing Arab marriage, men-women relationships, family, parenting and society on a cellular level – not through big sweeping political policy, but through individual action and awareness. This vision of mine is led by 4 basic and simple principles:
Empowering one woman will change and impact an entire community!
We, Arab and Middle-Eastern people need to start adopting what serves us from Western cultures!
Real female leadership is most powerful when anchored in feminine values and principles of creativity, dialogue and sisterhood!
We cannot create peace from a place of war: It is necessary to also 1. embrace, understand, honour, and co-create with healthy masculine energy, and 2. Learn how to raise our boys to become respectful, empowered and loved men!
My biggest success to date is: belief and trust.
Success to me is about reaching that place of abundance and bliss where I do not worry about where love or money come from. It is about radical acceptance of every single thing that happens as part of my manifestation, including the failures, the surprises and the unexpected outcomes on the way. Success is 20% about taking aligned action and 80% about full belief in the order of the universe, full trust in the process and allowing life to unfold.
To me it is about letting go of the idea that success is difficult, limited to certain people or something hard to achieve. It is never about working hard; it is about letting go and freeing myself of old beliefs, expectations and attachment! Ultimate success for us as female leaders is about self-acceptance, self-forgiveness and being unapologetically aware of our worth. It is about not needing competitiveness or comparison – about eradicating obligation, guilt, sacrifice, ‘servanthood’ and co-dependency from our relationships.
In other words, a woman’s success is about recruiting our ‘healthy’ structured masculine activator energy to take action and make things happen within the creative and chaotic flow, freedom and trust of the powerful feminine.
I change my lens. My life changes.
Following are some of the female influencers who inspire me the most and who dare expose some of the realities of the disconnect that the ‘misled’ modern woman experience with their feminine power and leadership:
Cooking a meal and sharing it with people I love!
How did you get into the industry?
As we are all aware: the entire world is going through a transitional leap to a new level of consciousness and we, life coaches, light-workers, healers and change-agents are needed more than ever to facilitate and enhance this transition. For me personally, I see lots of imbalance between the masculine and the feminine or yin and yang evident through personal crises, such as increasing rates of divorce, disconnection, violence, stress, disease and burnout… I see this as the loudest call to action for all of us! We are all responsible as human beings for this collective purpose; each one in their own way. Having a coaching practice helping to address and heal this imbalance is a great expression of my purpose.
Any emerging industry trends?
Applying the new feminine paradigm to work, business and entrepreneurship.
We, female entrepreneurs, cannot continue pretending that we can do business, work and succeed as men. I have learned that I have an unbelievable source of creativity, intuition and fire which comes from my feminine energy – if we truly tap into this infinite, flowing well of wisdom for our business and learn how to balance our internal masculine and feminine energies, we are able to really create a different world, and this is already happening! I do not mean that we have to hate men or reject masculine energy; no. We have to understand the importance of balance and be aware of the fact that lack of balance inevitably leads to toxicity. We also must understand that, despite seemingly-good intentions, feminism in many of its forms has been quite damaging to many generations of women. I start discussing this in my article here:
What’s next for the Business in the near future?
Developing focused coaching programs and events that will reach more and more women
Starting to create content for my beloved Arabic-speaking community
Co-creating forums and conversations with fellow coaches and change-catalysts
Establishing a program for my wonderful women to teach them how to coach so that they can apply a leadership approach to their parenting, work and communities
Creating my own, ultimate life-work balance
Continuing to inspire universal synergy and peace between the masculine and the feminine
Your most difficult moment at the Business?
Obviously, there are the usual challenges that everyone faces such as how to establish your credibility in the market, what your niche is, how you achieve work-life balance, how to transition from a secure full-time job… etc., but these are no longer my challenges. The real game-changer for me now is truly becoming global – and this is happening!
In business and life in general, the real challenge is unpacking your own limiting beliefs, understanding your underlying fears and completely revolutionizing your own mindset – by this I mean: reprogramming our “small”, “reptilian” mind with success rather than survival! THAT is the real and only challenge for each one of us whether in business or any area of our lives.
Ideal experience for a customer/client?
There are many tools for motivating others, but if I had to choose one, I would use envisioning. This means: seeing the future we want exactly as we wish it will be, embodying the energy of it and bringing that energy to our present situation. Imagination is the most powerful human faculty! Without imagination we will miss out on a rich life to be lived and meaning to be created.
Career advice to those in your industry?
Believe in abundance NOT in competition.
For a really empowered female coach or any coach, healer or change-maker, functioning from the next level of consciousness means turning everything we know about business competitiveness upside down. It means that the more coaches out there the BETTER for all of us. Here is why.
The more trained, professional and certified coaches do good for the world, the more recognized, expanded and developed the industry will become, and the more easily ‘frauds’ will be recognized and called out. This will allow your followers to receive your genuine message and resonate with you.
The idea of having to ‘compete’ for clients or business is self-destructive and it will never benefit us. In fact, this stems from a disempowered place of scarcity: The belief that there is never enough! Only ‘lack’ will be created from a place of ‘lack’.
Nothing is further from the truth that our skills are too available and that our message is repetitive. We may go through the same training and tap into the same niche; however, NO ONE on this earth is an exact replica of someone else. No story, no narrative and no imagination is the same. YOU are unique. Your skill is needed. The world needs healing. It needs us.
So, my advice for you is to:
Train and get certified; become the best at what you do. Coaching is a skill; not only an innate talent, so keep learning and honing your skills. Investing in yourself and in your education attracts clients who invest in themselves!
Your clients, their resistance, their issues and their objections reflect what is going on in your inner-world. Give attention to what is going on inside of you and address it; otherwise it will keep coming up in your personal and professional relationships, in your patterns with money and in the health of your business.
Stop comparing yourself to other coaches; everyone is at a different place in their journey. When you feel ‘bad’ about someone else’s success, it means that there is a fear you are not addressing in yourself. Start there. If you feel that you have less time or resources than others for your business, have a hard look at your boundaries and adjust!
Accept and seek support; no one accomplished anything completely on their own! Fact.
Accept the fact that your business will go through several iterations before you reach a place that you are satisfied with; growth never stops anyway, and your dream–business will keep growing with you! Allow yourself to evolve, make mistakes and change your approach. Flow and respond to the changes in your environment and your industry!
Let go. Detach from the ideas of: I must be ‘perfect’ before I can succeed. I had a disappointment, so I will never succeed. Someone else is doing exactly what I want to do, so I should quit. I have to get a transitional full-time or part-time job so I am a failure.
Grow your virtual community. Now. Serve them. Refine, clarify and express the message that you have for the people you want to serve. If done consistently and authentically, your soul clients will find YOU. You won’t have to do any ’chasing’, ‘pushing’ or ‘manipulating’. Your selling will be done from an empowered, easy place and will become enjoyable!
How do you motivate others?
My Daily Thoughts:
Tip of the Day:
Start your day with 3 deep long breaths, before you talk to anyone, before you pick up your phone, before breakfast, before working out, checking email…etc. This will only take you 3 minutes, will reset the tone for your entire day and literally SAVE you!
Check in with yourself first: how am I feeling this morning? Apprehensive? Overwhelmed? Dreadful? Rushed?
Ask yourself and lean in:
What will help me navigate today and make it easy instead of difficult?
What can I delegate? What can I scrap? What is the real priority today?
How can I be my best ally instead of my worst critic; just for today?
What will I do today to FEEL GOOD and improve the quality of my life; one day at a time?
Set the intention. Stretch out. Smile. Believe that what you want is possible.
Now, go and have an amazing day!
What Else to Know? Shared recent articles, Questions you devise etc)
Have a read through some of my articles here:
Connect to me on social media: